Chapter 87

Chapter 87

# Chapter 87

## Daiyu Grieves over the Past to the Sound of a Zither; Meditation Leads to a Devil's Possession

[Continued from the previous chapter...]

Daiyu had the woman sent by Baochai brought in, asked after her health, and received the letter she had brought. After telling the woman to go and have some tea, she opened Baochai's letter and read:

"It is my unhappy lot to have been born at an unpropitious time. My family's fortunes have been much troubled; my sisters and I are alone in the world, and our mother is old and frail. What is more, I am daily and nightly assailed by snarling and barking, which never cease. And on top of this, calamity has struck us like a fierce wind or pouring rain. At night I toss and turn—how can I bear my many sorrows? Since we are kindred spirits, surely you cannot but feel compassion for me? I recall how we formed the Crabapple Poetry Society, which was in the clear autumn season, when we chanted poems to the chrysanthemums and ate crabs together in happy fellowship. I still remember the lines: 'Proud and aloof, with whom shall I hide from the world? / Why should the same flowers bloom so late?' Could I not but sigh that we two, like those cold-season flowers left behind, are much alike? Stirred by these feelings and moved by these memories, I have written four verses. They are not mere aimless lamentation—they are my way of singing aloud instead of weeping.

Alas, the seasons change, and again it is clear autumn. Grieving that my family's fortunes are in ruins, I dwell alone in sorrow. The north hall has its motherwort, yet how can I forget my grief? Having no way to ease my sorrow, my heart is filled with anguish. (First verse)

The clouds are heavy and the autumn wind is bitter; I walk in the courtyard where the frost-blasted leaves are dry. Where shall I go, where shall I stay—I have lost my old friends. Sitting silently and thinking of it, my heart and liver are wrung with pain! (Second verse)

Only the great fish has its deep pool; only the crane has its beam. The scaly creatures lie hidden, and the feathered ones grow their plumes so long! I scratch my head and ask—boundless! Heaven is high and earth is thick, but who knows my endless grief? (Third verse)

The Milky Way gleams and the cold air intrudes; the moonlight slants and the water-clock sinks low. My anxious heart burns bright and sends forth my mournful chant. I chant and chant again, sending my words to the one who understands me. (Fourth verse)"

Daiyu, having read this, was overcome with sorrow. She reflected: "Sister Baochai did not send this to anyone else, but only to me—it is a case of one sensitive soul appreciating another." She was lost in thought when she heard someone outside call: "Is Sister Lin at home?" Daiyu folded up Baochai's letter and answered: "Who is it?" Even as she asked, several people came in—Tanchun, Xiangyun, Li Wen, and Li Qi. After they had exchanged greetings, Xueyan served tea, and they all drank it and chatted idly. Thinking of the chrysanthemum poems from two years before, Daiyu said: "Ever since Sister Baochai moved out, she has come twice, but now even when something comes up she doesn't come at all. It's really strange. I wonder if she will ever come back to us here." Tanchun smiled and said: "Why shouldn't she come? She will come sooner or later. It's just that her esteemed sister-in-law has a bit of a temper, and their mother is getting on in years. On top of that there's the matter of Xue Pan, so naturally Baochai has to take care of everything. How can she be as free as before?" Just then they suddenly heard a great rustling sound—the wind had blown a quantity of dead leaves against the window paper. After a pause, a delicate fragrance wafted in through the window. Everyone smelled it and said: "Where is this fragrant breeze coming from? What does it smell like?" Daiyu said: "It seems like osmanthus." Tanchun laughed and said: "Sister Lin, you still can't stop talking like a southerner. It's the ninth month—how could there be osmanthus?" Daiyu smiled and said: "That's true. If it were really osmanthus, I would have said so straight out instead of only saying it seemed like it." Xiangyun said: "Third Sister, don't say that. Don't you remember, 'Ten miles of lotus flowers, three months of osmanthus blooms'? In the south, it's just the time when the late osmanthus is blooming. You've just never seen it—when you go south someday, you'll naturally know." Tanchun laughed and said: "What business would I have going south? Besides, I knew all that already—you needn't show off." Li Wen and Li Qi just pursed their lips and smiled. Daiyu said, "Sister, you can never be sure of such things. As the saying goes, 'A man is a wandering immortal on earth'—today you're here, tomorrow you never know where. Take me, for example: I was originally from the south, so how did I end up here?" Xiangyun clapped her hands and laughed: "Today Third Sister has been put in her place by Sister Lin! Not only did Sister Lin come here from the south—all of us here are different too. Some were originally from the north; some have roots in the south but grew up in the north; some grew up in the south and came to the north. Today we're all gathered together. It just goes to say that everything has its destined lot—generally speaking, places and people each have their destined affinity." Everyone nodded when they heard this, and Tanchun merely smiled. After chatting a while longer, they all left. Daiyu saw them to the door, and they all said: "You've only just recovered—don't come out any further, you'll catch the breeze." So Daiyu stood at the door, talking all the while, and warmly exchanged a few more words with the four of them before watching them leave the courtyard. When she came back inside and sat down, she saw that the mountain birds had returned to their roosts and the setting sun was sinking in the west. Because Xiangyun had mentioned the south, she found herself thinking: "If my parents were still alive, the southern scenery—its spring flowers and autumn moon, its beautiful waters and bright mountains, the Twenty-Four Bridge, the relics of the Six Dynasties. There would be no lack of servants to attend me, I could do as I pleased in everything, and I could speak without reserve. Carriages scented and painted, apricot blossoms and green curtains—I would be the sole mistress. Now I am living under another's roof; even though I am well looked after in many ways, I must be careful everywhere I go. What sins did I commit in a former life that I should be so desolate in this one? It is truly as the Last Ruler of Li said: 'All day in this place, I wash my face only with tears!' " As she pondered this, without realizing it her spirit wandered away to that distant place.

Zijuan came in and, seeing this state of affairs, thought that it must have been because they had just been speaking of things south and north that Daiyu's feelings had been touched. She asked, "The young ladies have been chatting for half the day, and I suppose you've tired yourself again. I told Snowgoose to ask the kitchen to make you a bowl of ham and cabbage soup, with a bit of dried shrimp and some bamboo shoots and seaweed. Do you think that sounds good?" Daiyu said, "It will do." Zijuan said, "They've also cooked a little congee with glutinous rice." Daiyu nodded and added, "You two should cook that congee yourselves, rather than letting the kitchen do it." Zijuan said, "I'm afraid the kitchen won't make it cleanly enough, so we're cooking it ourselves. As for the soup, I also told Snowgoose and Sister-in-law Liu to make sure it's prepared cleanly. Sister-in-law Liu said she'd take care of it properly and have it simmered in her room, with their Wu'er keeping an eye on it." Daiyu said, "I'm not嫌弃 people for being dirty, but I've been ill for so many days, and everyone has gone to such trouble. Now with all this arranging of soups and congee, I'm afraid it will only annoy people." As she spoke, her eyes reddened again. Zijuan said, "You're overthinking this, miss. You're the Old Lady's granddaughter, and the very apple of her eye. Others would be only too glad to curry favor with you—who would complain?" Daiyu nodded and then asked, "That Wu'er you mentioned—isn't she the girl who was with Fangguan over at Master Bao's place that day?" Zijuan said, "That's her." Daiyu said, "Didn't I hear she was supposed to be brought in?" Zijuan said, "Yes, but she fell ill, and only after she recovered was she to come in. That was just when Qingwen and the others caused that uproar, so it was put off." Daiyu said, "I think that maid looks clean enough, at least." Just then, an old serving woman brought in the soup. When Snowgoose came out to receive it, the woman said, "Sister-in-law Liu asked me to tell the miss that Wu'er made this herself. She didn't dare make it in the big kitchen, for fear the miss would find it dirty." Snowgoose replied and brought it in. Daiyu had already heard from inside and told Snowgoose to tell the old woman to go back and thank her for her trouble. Snowgoose went out and said this, and the old woman left. Snowgoose set Daiyu's bowl and chopsticks on the small table and asked, "What about the spiced preserved turnip from the south? Shall I mix it with some sesame oil and vinegar?" Daiyu said, "That would do, but don't go to too much trouble." She served out the congee, and Daiyu ate half a bowl and took two spoonfuls of soup before setting it aside. The two maids cleared the things away, wiped the small table clean, and brought out the one that was usually kept there. Daiyu rinsed her mouth and washed her hands, then said, "Zijuan, have you added the incense?" Zijuan said, "I'll do it now." Daiyu said, "You two go and finish the soup and congee—it tastes quite good and it's clean. I'll add the incense myself." The two answered and went to eat in the outer room.

Here in her room, Daiyu added the incense and sat down. She was just about to take up a book when she heard the wind sweeping straight through the garden from west to east, passing through the branches with a ceaseless rushing and rustling. After a while, the wind chimes under the eaves began to clatter and clang without stop. Presently Snowgoose, having finished eating first, came in to attend to her. Daiyu asked, "It's getting cold. I told you the other day to air out those fur-lined clothes—have you done that?" Snowgoose said, "Yes, they've all been aired." Daiyu said, "Bring me one to put on." Snowgoose went and brought back a bundle of fur clothes, unwrapped the felt covering, and let Daiyu choose for herself. Among them she found wrapped in silk a bundle, which she took up and opened. It turned out to be the old handkerchiefs Baoyu had sent her when he was ill, with the poems she had written on them—the tear stains were still visible—and inside were wrapped the cut-up sachet, the tassel pouch, and the broken tassu from Baoyu's magic jade. They had been found while airing the clothes from the trunk, and Zijuan, fearing they might be lost, had tucked them into the felt bundle. Daiyu, once she looked, did not bother to choose a garment; she simply held the two handkerchiefs and stared blankly at the old poems. After gazing at them for a while, she could not help shedding tears. Zijuan, coming in from the outer room, saw Snowgoose standing blankly beside her with the bundle of clothes, while on the small table lay the cut-up sachet, the pieces of the tassel pouch, and the broken tassu, and Daiyu herself holding the two old handkerchiefs with their inscriptions, weeping as she faced them. Truly:

A disappointed soul meets with a matter of disappointment,

New tear stains mingling with the old.

When Zijuan saw all this, she knew that he had been moved by the sight of these objects and was brooding over the past. She reasoned that there would be no point in trying to console him, so she said with a smile: "What does the young lady want with those things? They're all relics of the days when you and Baoyu were children — the jokes that came out of your quarrels and reconciliations. If you had always treated each other with such proper respect as you do now, you wouldn't have gone to the trouble of spoiling all these things for nothing."

Zijuan had meant only to cheer Daiyu up, but her words had the opposite effect: they reminded Daiyu of her early days with Baoyu, and the tears flowed faster than ever. Zijuan tried again: "Xueyan is waiting here, miss. Do put something over your shoulders." Only then did Daiyu put down her handkerchief. Zijuan quickly picked it up, wrapped the sachet and other things in it, and took them away.

Daiyu put on a fur-lined jacket and walked out to the outer room in melancholy silence. Looking back, she saw that Baochai's letter with the poems had not been put away. She took it out and read it over twice, then sighed: "Though our circumstances differ, our grief is the same. I must write four stanzas, set them to music so they can be sung as well as played, and send them to her tomorrow as a matching poem." She told Xueyan to bring the inkstone and brush from the table outside. She moistened the ink and wrote out four stanzas. Then she took out the music score and, borrowing the melodies of *Yi Lan* and *Si Xian*, fitted her own words to the tunes. When she had written it all out, she prepared to send it to Baochai. She also told Xueyan to take out the short zither she had brought with her from her trunk, tune it, and practise the fingering. Daiyu was an exceptionally gifted girl and had studied music for some time in the south. Although her fingers were a little stiff from disuse, she soon mastered it once more. After playing for a while, it was late at night, and she told Zijuan to put things away and go to bed. But we will not dwell on this.

As for Baoyu, that morning he had washed and dressed and was on his way to the schoolroom with his page Boyu when Mo Yu came running up to him with a grin. "You're in luck today, young master! The old gentleman isn't in the schoolroom — he's dismissed the class for the day." "Is that true?" said Baoyu. "If you don't believe me, look — isn't that Master Zhu and Master Lan coming this way?" Baoyu looked and saw Jia Huan and Jia Lan, each followed by his pages, chattering away merrily as they approached. When they caught sight of Baoyu, they stood at attention. "Why have you two come back?" asked Baoyu. "The old gentleman had something to attend to today," said Jia Huan. "He dismissed the class for the day and told us to go again tomorrow." After hearing this, Baoyu went first to report to the Dowager Lady and Jia Zheng, then returned to Happy Red Court. "Why are you back again?" asked Xiren. Baoyu explained, and after sitting down for a moment, he made to leave. "Where are you off to in such a hurry? Even if the class has been dismissed, I think you should rest and gather your strength," said Xiren. Baoyu stopped and hung his head. "You're right, of course. But it's not easy getting a day off — can't I go out and stretch my legs a bit? You ought to have a little pity on me." Seeing how pitifully he spoke, Xiren laughed and said: "Very well, go then." Just then, dinner was served. Baoyu had no choice but to eat. He bolted his food in a few mouthfuls, rinsed his mouth, and went speeding off to Daiyu's rooms like a streak of smoke.

When he reached the gate, he found Xueyan in the courtyard hanging out silk to dry. "Has the young lady had her meal?" he asked. "She only swallowed half a bowl of congee this morning and doesn't feel like eating. She's dozing now. You'd better go somewhere else for a while and come back later." Baoyu had to turn back.

Having nowhere to go, he suddenly remembered that Xichun hadn't been seen for several days, and he wandered over to Smartweed Breeze Cot. As he approached the window, all was silent — not a soul in sight. Baoyu supposed she was taking her afternoon nap and didn't want to disturb her. He was about to leave when he heard a faint sound from inside. He stood still and listened. After a while there was another click. Baoyu hadn't yet identified the sound when a voice said: "You've put a piece down there — aren't you going to respond over here?" Only then did Baoyu realize they were playing weiqi, but he couldn't make out whose voice it was. Then he heard Xichun say below: "What's there to worry about? You capture me here, I respond there, you capture again, and I respond again. I still have a move in reserve — in the end I'll connect up." The other voice said: "And what if I capture like this?" "Aiya!" said Xichun. "There's still a 'counter-strike' in there — I didn't see that coming." Baoyu recognized the other voice as very familiar, but it didn't belong to any of the girls. He supposed there shouldn't be any outsiders in Xichun's rooms, so he gently lifted the curtain and went in. It was none other than Adamantina, the "Outsider Beyond the Threshold" from Green Bamboo Convent. Baoyu dared not disturb her. Adamantina and Xichun were both deep in concentration and paid him no heed. Baoyu stood beside them watching their play. Then he saw Adamantina look down and ask Xichun: "Aren't you going to sacrifice this corner piece?" "Why shouldn't I? All your pieces inside are dead — what do I have to fear?" "Don't boast. Let's see." "I'll push forward and we'll see what you do." Adamantina smiled faintly, took a piece from the side, and with a clever shift captured the whole corner of Xichun's pieces. She laughed and said: "This is called the 'pulling-off-the-boot' move."

Before Xi-chun could reply, Bao-yu, who was standing nearby, could not contain himself and burst out laughing with a "Ha ha!"—giving both of them a tremendous fright.

Xi-chun said, "What's the meaning of this? You came in without saying a word, and now you go playing tricks on people to scare them. When did you get here?"

Bao-yu said, "I came in a while ago. I was watching the two of you argue over that 'corner piece.'" As he spoke, he bowed to Miao-yu and then asked with a smile, "Miao-gong rarely leaves the meditation gate. What karmic cause brings you down to the mortal realm today?"

When Miao-yu heard this, her face suddenly flushed. She said nothing and lowered her head to study the chessboard. Bao-yu, feeling he had been too forward, hastily said with an ingratiating smile, "It's just that people who have left the household life can't be compared to us vulgar people in the world. The first thing is that the mind is still. When the mind is still, it becomes keen; when it is keen, it becomes wise."

Before Bao-yu had finished speaking, Miao-yu raised her eyes slightly, glanced at Bao-yu, then lowered her head again. The colour in her cheeks gradually deepened into a blush. Seeing that she was ignoring him, Bao-yu had no choice but awkwardly to sit down nearby.

Xi-chun was about to make another move when, after a long pause, Miao-yu said, "Let's continue." She stood up, straightened her clothes, sat down again, and asked Bao-yu absently, "Where do you come from?"

Bao-yu had been longing for this question, as it would give him a chance to explain what he had said earlier. But then he thought: "Perhaps this is one of Miao-yu's Chan gambits." His face turned red and he could not bring himself to answer.

Miao-yu smiled faintly and turned to speak with Xi-chun instead. Xi-chun also laughed and said, "Second Brother, what's so hard to answer? Haven't you heard people always say, 'From where you came, you come'? Is that worth blushing over, as if you'd met a stranger?"

When Miao-yu heard these words, she thought of her own situation. Her heart stirred, her face grew warm—she must have blushed too—and she felt rather embarrassed. She stood up and said, "I've been here a long time. I must go back to the convent."

Knowing Miao-yu's temperament, Xi-chun did not press her to stay and saw her to the door. Miao-yu smiled and said, "It's been a long time since I came here. The paths wind and twist so much—I'm afraid I'll lose my way back."

Bao-yu said, "In that case, how about I guide you?"

Miao-yu said, "I wouldn't dare. Second Master, please go ahead."

So the two of them took leave of Xi-chun, left Liao-feng Lodge, and walked along the winding path toward Bamboo Lodge, when suddenly they heard the tinkling of a zither.

Miao-yu said, "Where is that zither music coming from?"

Bao-yu said, "It must be Cousin Lin playing over there."

Miao-yu said, "So she can do this too. Why haven't I ever heard it mentioned in the ordinary course of things?"

Bao-yu told her everything about Dai-yu, and then said, "Let's go see her."

Miao-yu said, "Since ancient times there has only been 'listening to the zither'—there has never been 'looking at the zither.'"

Bao-yu laughed and said, "I did say I was a vulgar person."

With that, the two of them walked to the outside of Bamboo Lodge and sat on the artificial rockery to listen quietly. The tone was exceedingly clear and poignant. They heard a low吟:

"The wind sighs and sighs—the autumn air is deep;

A beauty a thousand miles away—sighs alone.

She gazes toward her homeland—but where is it?

She leans on the railing—her tears soak her sleeves."

After a pause, they heard another吟:

"The mountains stretch far and far—the waters are long;

Bright moonlight—shines upon the window.

Wide awake, sleepless—the Silver River stretches vast and dim;

Her silk gown trembles—chilled by wind and dew."

After another pause, Miao-yu said, "The 'qin' rhyme just now was the first verse. Now the 'yang' rhyme is the second verse. Let's listen again."

From inside came another吟:

"Your lot—is not free;

My encounter—is full of sorrow.

You and my heart—are turned toward one another;

I think of the ancients—that I may be without blame."

Miao-yu said, "This is yet another stanza. How deep the sorrow and longing!"

Bao-yu said, "Though I don't understand it, judging from the tone of the music, it sounds excessively sad."

Inside, the strings were tuned once more. Miao-yu said, "The 'lord string' is tuned too high—it probably won't match the wuyi pitch."

From inside came another吟:

"Man lives in this world—like light dust;

Heaven and earth—karmic causes are felt.

Karmic causes are felt—and cannot be severed;

How can a pure heart—be like the moon in heaven?"

Miaoyu turned pale and started up. "Why has the music suddenly shifted to the bianzhi mode? The sound is enough to crack metal and stone. But it is too forceful," she said.

Baoyu asked, "What if it is too forceful?"

"It may not endure," said Miaoyu.

While they were still discussing this, there came a snap as the top string of the qin broke. Miaoyu rose hastily and made for the door.

"What's wrong?" Baoyu called.

"You'll know later. There's no need to say more," she replied and left.

This left Baoyu thoroughly perplexed and out of spirits. He returned dejectedly to Happy Red Court, but no more of this.

Miaoyu, having reached the nunnery, was met by a Taoist nun who shut the gate behind her. She sat for a while and recited her daily prayers. After supper she lit incense and kowtowed to the Goddess of Mercy, then told the Taoist nun to go and rest. Having arranged the back-rest on her meditation bench, she drew her curtain, closed her eyes, crossed her legs, and sat down to banish all idle thoughts and seek the True Suchness.

She had been meditating until the third watch when she heard tiles rumbling on the roof. Suspecting thieves, she got down from her bench and went to the front veranda, where she saw clouds drifting across the sky and the moonlight as bright as water. As it was not yet very cold, she stood alone leaning on the railing for a while. Just then two cats on the roof mewed back and forth.

This reminded her of what Baoyu had said that day, and she felt her heart pounding and her cheeks burning. She quickly tried to collect her thoughts and went back into her room, resuming her seat on the meditation bench. But her mind refused to stay put. At once she felt as if a thousand horses were galloping through her head, and the bench seemed to rock beneath her. She felt herself no longer in the nunnery.

Then a whole host of young princes and rich young gentlemen came to ask for her hand in marriage. Matchmakers dragged and pulled her towards a carriage, but she refused to go. Next robbers set upon her, brandishing swords and clubs, and she had to cry out for help.

This roused all the Taoist nuns and nuns in the nunnery, who came hurrying with lamps. They found Miaoyu lying with her hands flung out and foam at her mouth. When they roused her, her eyes were staring and her cheeks flushed crimson.

"I have the Goddess of Mercy's protection! What can you ruffians do to me?" she cried.

The women were at a loss. "We're all here," they said. "Wake up, please!"

"I want to go home. Someone good must escort me back," said Miaoyu.

"This is your home," replied a Taoist nun.

Meanwhile another nun prayed before the Goddess of Mercy and drew a slip. Consulting the book of oracles, they found it referred to an affliction caused by a female spirit from the southwest corner.

"That's it," said one. "In the Garden of Broad Vista there is nobody living in the southwest corner, so it is bound to be haunted."

While they were busy preparing medicines and warming water, the nun who had brought Miaoyu from the south—having always served her more devotedly than the others—sat on the meditation bench beside her.

"Who are you?" asked Miaoyu, turning her head.

"It's me," said the nun.

Miaoyu peered at her closely. "So it's you," she said, and throwing herself into the nun's arms she sobbed bitterly. "You are my mother! If you don't save me, I can't go on living."

The nun tried to rouse her and massaged her while the Taoist nun brought hot tea. It was not until dawn that she fell asleep.

The nun sent for a doctor to feel her pulse. Some said the trouble was caused by anxiety injuring the spleen; some that heat had entered the blood; some that she had been possessed by an evil spirit; some that she had caught a cold both internally and externally. No one could agree.

Finally a doctor was called in. He asked, "Has she been meditating?"

"She always meditates," said the Taoist nun.

"Did this illness come on suddenly last night?"

"Yes."

"This is a case of the fire of madness arising from meditation," said the doctor.

"Is there any danger?" they asked.

"Fortunately she hasn't been meditating long, so the madness has not penetrated too deeply. She can be saved."

He prescribed a medicine to subdue the fire of the mind. After taking one dose she felt a little better. But the idlers outside the nunnery, hearing of this, spread all manner of gossip. "At her age, how can she bear such a life? And she's so charming and clever too. Who will get her in the end, I wonder?"

After a few days Miaoyu's illness improved slightly, but her mind had not fully recovered and she remained somewhat distracted.

One day Xichun was sitting in her room when Caiping suddenly came in. "Have you heard about what happened to Sister Miaoyu?" she asked.

"What's happened?" said Xichun.

"I heard it yesterday from Miss Xing and Madam You. She came down with an evil possession the evening after playing chess with you, shouting that robbers were trying to seize her. She hasn't recovered yet. Isn't that strange?"

Xichun listened in silence, then reflected, "Although Miaoyu is pure, she hasn't severed all ties with the dusty world. It's a pity I was born in a family like this and can't become a nun myself. If I had entered a nunnery, no evil spirits could have troubled me—one thought unborn, all bonds dissolved."

As this thought struck her, she suddenly had a flash of enlightenment. Feeling she had gained something, she composed an extempore gatha:

Creation has no fixed abode—

How then should one stay?

Since you came from the void,

To the void you should return.

When she had finished, she told her maid to burn incense. After sitting quietly for a while she opened her chess manual and read a few essays by Kong Rong and Wang Jixin. The "Crab Wrapped in a Lotus Leaf" and "Oriole Seizing a Rabbit" positions were not particularly remarkable, and the "Thirty-Six Corner-Killing Positions" were hard to understand or memorize all at once. Only the "Eight Dragons and a Galloping Horse" interested her greatly.

She was still pondering this when someone came into the courtyard calling for Caiping. Who this was will be told in the next chapter.