Chapter 54

Chapter 54

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Chapter 54: The Dowager Breaks with Old, Stale Conventions; Wang Xifeng Joins in Her Parents' Delight |

Jia Zhen and Jia Lian had secretly prepared large baskets full of coins. When they heard the Dowager say, "Give out the reward," they quickly ordered the pages to scatter the coins. The clinking of money filled the air, and the Dowager was greatly pleased.

The two men then rose, and the pages hastily brought a new warm silver wine pot and placed it in Jia Lian's hands. They followed Jia Zhen into the inner quarters. Jia Zhen first went to Aunt Li's seat, bowed, and took her cup. He turned around, and Jia Lian quickly filled a cup. Then he went to Aunt Xue's seat and filled her cup as well. Both men rose hurriedly and said with a smile, "Please sit down, sirs. There's no need for such ceremony." With the exception of the two Madams Xing and Wang, everyone at the table rose from their seats and stood at attention with hands at their sides. Jia Zhen and the others approached the Dowager's couch. Because the couch was low, both knelt. Jia Zhen held the cup in front, and Jia Lian held the pot behind him. Although only the two of them were offering the wine, Jia Huan and his brothers had followed them in single file, in order of precedence. When they saw the two men kneel, they also knelt in a single line. Baoyu hurriedly knelt as well. Shi Xiangyun nudged him and whispered with a smile, "Why are you kneeling again? Why don't you go pour a round of wine instead?" Baoyu whispered back, "I'll go in a moment." He waited until the two men finished pouring and rose, then he rose too. He then went to pour wine for Madam Xing and Madam Wang. Jia Zhen said with a smile, "What about the young ladies?" The Dowager and the others said, "You may go. They'd prefer it that way." With that, Jia Zhen and the others withdrew.

It was not yet the second watch of the night. The opera being performed was the eight scenes of "Watching the Lanterns" from *The Eight Righteous Ones*. Amidst the excitement, Baoyu left his seat and walked outside. The Dowager said, "Where are you going? The firecrackers out there are fierce. Be careful that a spark doesn't fall from the sky and set you on fire." Baoyu replied, "I'm not going far. I'll just step out and come right back." The Dowager ordered the old women to follow him carefully. Baoyu went out, followed only by Sheyue, Qiuwen, and a few young maids. The Dowager said, "Where is Xiren? She's getting rather grand these days, sending only the little girls out." Madam Wang rose hurriedly and replied with a smile, "Her mother passed away the other day. She's in mourning, so it's not convenient for her to come to the front." The Dowager nodded and said with a smile, "When serving one's mistress, one can't talk about whether one is in mourning or not. If she were still serving me, could she stay away even now? It's all because we're too lenient. When people have someone to send, they don't look into such matters, and it becomes a regular practice." Xifeng came over quickly and replied with a smile, "Tonight she's not in mourning—but the garden needs her watching. Lanterns, candles, and fireworks are the most dangerous. The opera is playing here, and who in the garden isn't sneaking over to watch? She's thorough; she looks after everything. Besides, after this gathering, when Brother Bao goes back to sleep, everything must be ready. If she came here, no one would be careful. After dispersing, his bedding would be cold, the tea wouldn't be prepared, and nothing would be convenient. So I told her not to come and just watch the rooms. After dispersing, everything will be ready, we won't have to worry here, and she can fulfill her mourning obligations. Everyone benefits three ways. If the Old Ancestress wants her, I'll call her over." The Dowager, upon hearing this, said quickly, "You're quite right. That's more thoughtful than I was. Don't call her then. But when did her mother pass away? How did I not know?" Xifeng said with a smile, "Xiren personally reported it to the Old Ancestress the other day. How could you have forgotten?" The Dowager thought for a moment and said with a smile, "Now I remember. My memory is really getting ordinary." Everyone said with a smile, "How could the Old Ancestress remember such things?" The Dowager sighed and said, "I've been thinking—she served me when she was young, and then she served Yun'er for a while. In the end, she was given to that demon Baoyu, and she's been plagued by him all these years. She's not a servant born and bred in our household. She hasn't received any great favors from us. When her mother died, I thought I should give her some silver for the funeral, but I forgot." Xifeng said, "The other day Madam Wang gave her forty taels of silver, and that should suffice." The Dowager nodded and said, "That will do. It just so happens that Yuanyang's mother also died the other day. I thought her parents are all in the south, and I didn't call her home to observe the mourning. Now let the two of them keep each other company." She then ordered the old women to bring some fruits, dishes, and refreshments for the two of them to eat. Hupo said with a smile, "There's no need to wait—she already left." With that, everyone returned to their wine and the opera.

Baoyu went straight back to the Garden. When the old bawds saw him returning to his quarters they did not follow but sat down in the teahouse by the gate to warm themselves, seizing the chance to drink and gamble with the woman in charge of the tea.

When Baoyu entered the courtyard, although the lamps were ablaze there was not a sound from anyone.

"They can't all have gone to bed, can they?" said Sheyue. "Let's creep in quietly and give them a scare."

They tiptoed in, making for the screen-wall, and looked through. There Xiren and another person were lying propped against each other on the kang, while at the other end three or four old nurses were dozing.

Thinking the two were asleep, Baoyu was about to go in when he heard Yuanyang heave a sigh.

"Who would have thought things could turn out like this?" she said. "By rights, being here on your own while your parents are away, roaming east and west every year with no fixed home, you wouldn't have been able to tend them in their last moments. But as it happens, they died here this year and you were able to see them off after all."

"That's so," said Xiren. "I never expected to be present when my parents breathed their last. And Her Ladyship gave me forty taels of silver. That makes up for her having brought me up, so I have no cause to complain."

Hearing this, Baoyu turned quickly and whispered to Sheyue and the others, "I didn't know she'd come too. If I go in now she'll storm off in a huff. Let's go back and leave the two of them to have a nice quiet talk. Xiren must be feeling lonely, so it's just as well she's come."

With that, he slipped out again quietly.

Baoyu then went behind a rock to urinate. Sheyue and Qiuwen stood still with their backs turned, laughing as they said, "Crouch down when you undo your trousers, mind the wind doesn't blow on your belly." The two little maids behind them, knowing he wanted to relieve himself, hurried ahead to the teahouse to prepare things.

Just as Baoyu turned back, two women came up to them and asked who was there.

"The Master's here," said Qiuwen. "Don't shout so loud — mind you don't frighten him!"

The women smiled. "We didn't know. We'd be asking for trouble, coming here at festival time. You young ladies must have been working hard these last few days."

By now they had reached them.

"What have you got in your hands?" asked Sheyue and the others.

"Gold and flowers the Old Lady is giving the two young ladies to eat," said the women.

Qiuwen laughed. "They're performing The Eight Righteous Heroes outside, not The Chaos Cauldron — so where did this Golden Flower Goddess spring from?"

Baoyu laughingly ordered them to uncover the boxes. Sheyue and Qiuwen hurried forward and opened the two lids. The two women at once squatted down. Baoyu saw that both boxes were filled with the finest dishes and delicacies from the feast. He nodded and walked on. Sheyue and Qiuwen hastily slammed the lids shut and followed him.

"Those two women are pleasant enough," said Baoyu with a smile. "They know how to talk. They're tired out themselves every day, yet they say you young ladies have been working hard. They're not the sort to boast of their own merits."

"The good ones are quite good," said Sheyue, "but those who don't know any manners are truly beyond the pale."

"You sensible ones should just put up with them," said Baoyu. "They're simple, pitiable creatures."

As they talked they reached the Garden gate. The old bawds, although drinking and gambling, had been coming out from time to time to see what was happening. When they saw Baoyu, they all followed him. He went to the corridor behind the flower hall, where the two little maids had been waiting a long time, one holding a small washbasin, the other with a towel over her arm and a flask of perfumed liquid.

Qiuwen hastily reached out to test the water. "You're getting more careless every day. How could you fetch cold water?"

The little maid laughed. "Just look at this weather, miss! I was afraid the water was too cold, so I specially fetched boiling water, and even that's gone cold."

Just then, as luck would have it, an old woman came carrying a pot of boiling water.

"Good mother, come and pour some for me," said the little maid.

"This is the Old Lady's tea-water," said the old woman. "I advise you to go and ladle some from somewhere else. You're getting above yourself."

"I don't care whose it is," said Qiuwen. "If you won't give it to us, I'll just pour out the Old Lady's whole tea-pot to wash my hands."

The old woman turned her head, saw it was Qiuwen, and hastily lifted the pot to pour.

"That's enough," said Qiuwen. "At your age you should know better. Everyone knows that's the Old Lady's water! Only someone who can't get what she wants would dare ask for it."

The old woman smiled. "My eyes are bad. I didn't recognize you, miss."

Baoyu washed his hands. The little maid poured some of the perfumed liquid from the small flask into his palm and he rubbed it in. Sheyue and Qiuwen also took the opportunity to wash their hands in the warm water and apply the perfume, then went in with Baoyu.

Baoyu then asked for a pot of warmed wine and began by pouring for Aunt Li and Aunt Xue, who both pressed him to sit down instead.

"He's young, let him pour," said the Dowager. "You should all drain your cups first."

She drained her own cup. Lady Xing and Lady Wang hastily drained theirs too, and pressed the two aunts to do the same. Aunt Li and Aunt Xue had no choice but to follow suit.

The Dowager then told Baoyu, "Now pour for your cousins too, all of them. Don't skip anyone, and make sure they all drink up."

Baoyu assented and poured for each in turn. When he came to Daiyu, she would not drink but instead took the cup and held it to Baoyu's lips. He drained it in one breath.

"Thank you," said Daiyu with a smile.

Baoyu poured her a cup in return.

Xifeng then said with a smile, "Baoyu, don't drink cold wine. If your hands tremble you won't be able to write or draw a bow tomorrow."

"I haven't been drinking cold wine," said Baoyu hastily.

"I know you haven't," said Xifeng. "I'm just reminding you."

After Baoyu had finished pouring for those inside — with the exception of Jia Rong's wife, for whom the maids poured — he went out again to the corridor and poured for Jia Zhen and the others. He sat there for a while, then went back inside to his old seat.

After the soup had been served, the Lantern Festival offerings were presented. The Lady Dowager ordered the theatrical performance to be paused. "Have pity on these poor children. Let them have some hot soup and hot dishes before they go on singing again." She also had various fruits and Lantern Festival delicacies distributed to them. Once the play had stopped, two blind female musicians who often performed at the mansion were brought in by a matron. Two low stools were placed to one side for them to sit on, and their stringed instruments and pipas were handed to them. The Lady Dowager asked Li Wan and Xue Baochai what story they would like to hear, and both replied, "Anything will do." The Lady Dowager then asked, "Have any new stories been added recently?" The two musicians replied, "There is indeed a new story, set in the last days of the Tang and the Five Dynasties period." The Lady Dowager asked what it was called. The musicians said, "It is called *The Phoenix Seeks the Phoenix*." The Lady Dowager said, "That is a fine name. I wonder how it came about. Give us a rough idea of the plot first. If it is good, we shall have the whole thing." The musicians said, "The story is set in the last days of the Tang Dynasty. There was a gentleman from Jinling by the name of Wang Zhong, who had served as prime minister under two emperors. He had now retired to his country estate and had only one son, whose name was Wang Xifeng." When the others heard this, they burst out laughing. The Lady Dowager said with a smile, "That's the same name as our Feng girl!" A maidservant hurried forward to push the musician. "That is the name of Second Mistress. Mind what you say!" The Lady Dowager said, "Go on, go on." The musician quickly rose to her feet with a smile and said, "We deserve to die! We did not know it was Your Ladyship's name." Xifeng said, "What is there to fear? Just go on with the story. There are plenty of people with the same name." The musician continued, "One year the elder Mr. Wang sent his son to the capital to sit for the examinations. One day the young gentleman encountered a heavy rainstorm and took shelter in a farmhouse on an estate. It happened that the owner of the estate was also a gentleman by the name of Li, an old friend of the elder Mr. Wang's. He invited the young gentleman to stay and lodged him in his library. This Mr. Li had no sons, only one daughter. This young lady's name was Chu Luan, and she was accomplished in music, chess, calligraphy, and painting." The Lady Dowager interjected, "No wonder it is called *The Phoenix Seeks the Phoenix*. I need not hear any more—I have already guessed. Naturally this Wang Xifeng wants to marry this Miss Chu Luan." The musician smiled and said, "So Your Ladyship has heard this story before!" The others all said, "What story hasn't the old lady heard? Even if she hadn't heard it, she would have guessed it." The Lady Dowager said with a smile, "All these stories follow the same pattern—they are nothing but tales of beautiful girls and talented young men, and the most tiresome kind at that. They make out that a young lady is wicked, and yet they call her beautiful—it is all made up, not a shred of truth in it. They always begin by telling you she comes from a scholarly family: her father is either a minister or a prime minister, and she is his precious treasure. She must be a paragon of refinement, versed in all learning, an unrivaled beauty. But the moment she catches sight of a handsome young man, whether a relative or a friend, she thinks of marriage. She forgets her parents, forgets propriety—she is neither ghost nor thief, but something in between, and how can that be called a beautiful girl? Even if she is a woman of great learning, if she behaves like that, she cannot be considered a beautiful girl. For instance, if a man of great learning became a thief, would the law call him a genius and exempt him from the charge of theft? So we see that the man who wrote such books has contradicted himself. Besides, if we are to believe that the daughters of great scholarly families are all well-bred and well-read, and even their mothers are women of cultivation, then when they retire to the country, with all those people in a great household, with so many nurses and maids attending the young lady, how is it that in all these stories, whenever such a thing happens, there is only the young lady and one maid with her? Just think—what are all those other people there for? The story simply does not hold together!" When the others heard this, they all laughed and said, "What the old lady has said exposes all the lies." The Lady Dowager said with a smile, "There is a reason for this. Those who write such books are either jealous of other people's wealth, or frustrated in their own desires, and so they write such things to blacken other people's names. Or else they have been bewitched by reading such books themselves, and they too want to find a beautiful girl, so they write such stories for their own amusement. How could they possibly understand the ways of scholarly families! Never mind those scholarly families in their books—if we look at real life, even in a family of middling standing like ours, such things do not happen, let alone in the great families. So we know it is all nonsense with nothing to back it up. That is why we never allow such stories to be told, and the young maids know nothing of such talk. These last few years, now that I am old and my granddaughters live farther away, when I am feeling a little bored, I have a few words recited to me, but as soon as they come, we stop at once." Li Wan and Xue Baochai both smiled and said, "That is the proper way to run a great household. Even in our family, we do not allow the children to hear such frivolous talk."

Xifeng came forward, pouring wine as she laughed: "Stop, stop! The wine's gone cold. Have a sip, Old Ancestress, to wet your throat before you start spinning more yarns. We'll call this chapter 'The Exposure of Fibs.' The setting: this dynasty, this locality, this year, this month, this day, this very hour. With your one mouth, Old Ancestress, it's hard to tell two tales at once—as the saying goes, 'Two flowers bloom, each on its own branch.' Whether it's true or false, we'll leave that aside for now and turn back to the lantern-gazing, opera-watching crowd. How about letting these two relatives here drink a cup of wine and watch a couple of performances before you start picking apart yesterday's conversation?" She poured as she talked and laughed, but before she'd finished everyone had collapsed in laughter. The two women storytellers were laughing too, crying, "What a sharp tongue you have, madam! If you ever took up storytelling, you'd rob us of our livelihood." Aunt Xue laughed, "Don't be so pleased with yourself—there are people about; it's not like the old days." Xifeng laughed, "The only man outside is Master Zhen. We've always treated each other as brothers and sisters since we were little, and we carried on together ever since we were children. These past few years since I married, I've had to observe all sorts of rules. But even if we're no longer children playing together, and even by the rules of seniority, there's the story from the Twenty-Four Filial Exemplars of 'the old man dressed in colorful clothes to amuse his parents'—since they can't come to dress up in colorful clothes to make you smile, Old Ancestress, I've gone to all this trouble to make you smile just once and eat a bit more, and everyone's delighted—they should be thanking me! How can they laugh at me instead?" The Lady Dowager laughed, "It's true I haven't had a really good laugh these past two days. It's thanks to her that I've laughed enough to feel better inside. Let me have another cup of wine." As she drank, she ordered Baoyu, "Now toast your sister too." Xifeng laughed, "There's no need for him to toast me—I'll beg the Old Ancestress's longevity instead." So saying, she took up the Lady Dowager's cup, drank off the half-cup that remained, handed it to a maid, and had a fresh cup brought, one that had been warmed in hot water. Then the cups at every table were removed, and cups that had been warming in hot water were filled with fresh wine and brought out. Then everyone resumed their seats.

The women storytellers replied, "If the Old Ancestress won't listen to a story, how about we play a piece of music for you?" The Lady Dowager said, "The two of you play a *General's Command* together." The two women, upon hearing this, quickly tuned their strings and began to play. The Lady Dowager asked, "What watch of the night is it?" The old serving women hurriedly replied, "The third watch." The Lady Dowager said, "No wonder it's getting chilly." Maids had already brought fresh clothes for changing. Lady Wang rose and said with a smile, "Perhaps you should move into the warm chamber, Old Ancestress, and sit on the heated floor—that would be better. These two relatives aren't outsiders; we can sit with you." The Lady Dowager laughed and said, "In that case, why don't we all move in? Won't that be warmer?" Lady Wang said, "I'm afraid there won't be enough room inside." The Lady Dowager smiled, "I have an idea. We don't need all these tables—just push two or three together and let everyone sit close. It'll be cozy and warm." Everyone said, "That would be fun." So saying, they rose from the table. The serving women hurriedly cleared away the remains of the feast, and inside, three large tables were pushed together in a row. Fresh fruits and delicacies were laid out. The Lady Dowager said, "There's no need for ceremony here—just let me tell you where to sit." She seated Aunt Xue and Aunt Li facing north, sat herself facing west, and told Baochai, Daiyu, and Xiangyun to sit close beside her. To Baoyu she said, "Sit next to your mother." So Baoyu sat between Lady Xing and Lady Wang, while Baochai and the other girls sat on the west side. Below them sat Lou-shi with Jia Jun, Madam You and Li Wan with Jia Lan, and at the far end sat Jia Rong's wife. The Lady Dowager said, "Take your brothers along and go, Brother Zhen. I'm going to sleep now."

Jia Zhen assented and came back in. The Lady Dowager said, "Go quickly! No need to come back in—you've only just sat down and now you're all getting up again. Go rest. There's important business tomorrow." Jia Zhen assented, then said with a laugh, "Let Rong'er stay to pour the wine." The Lady Dowager laughed, "That's right, I forgot him." Jia Zhen said "Yes," and turning, led Jia Lian and the others out. The two men were delighted and had Jia Cong and Jia Huang escorted home respectively, then invited Jia Lian to go carouse and seek pleasure—but of this, no more.

Here the Lady Dowager laughed, "I was just thinking that although all these people are enjoying themselves, there isn't one complete couple—I forgot about Rong'er. Now it's perfect. Rong'er can sit with his wife—that makes it a complete reunion." Then a serving woman came to announce that the opera was about to begin. The Lady Dowager laughed, "We womenfolk were just getting into our conversation, and now they'll start making a noise. Besides, it's cold for the children to stay up so late. Let them rest for now. Call our girls over and have them perform a couple of pieces on this stage for us to watch." The woman assented and went out, sending people to the Garden to summon the girls, and at the same time ordering the young servants at the second gate to make themselves ready. The young servants hurried to the theater and led out all the adults in the troupe, leaving only the children.

Presently, the drama instructor from the Pear Fragrance Court brought out the twelve actresses, Wen Guan and the others, through the gate in the corner of the covered walkway. The old women carried several soft bundles—having no time to fetch the trunks, they had guessed at the three or five plays Grandmother Jia enjoyed most and brought the costumes for those. The old women led Wen Guan and the others in to pay their respects, then stood waiting with hands clasped. Grandmother Jia said with a smile, "In the first month of the new year, your master doesn't even let you out for a stroll? What will you perform for us? That eight-scene *Eight Righteous Heroes* just gave me a headache. Something lighter would be better. Look—Lady Xue and Aunt Li both come from families with their own theatrical troupes; they've heard no end of fine plays. These girls here have all seen better productions and heard better singing than our own young ladies. And these little actresses belong to a famous troupe; though they're only children, they surpass even the full professional companies. We mustn't be too critical, so let's have something fresh and unusual. Let Fang Guan perform the 'Dream Search,' with only stringed instruments and pipes—no mouth organs or flutes at all." Wen Guan said with a smile, "That's quite right. Naturally our acting can't hope to impress the ladies, the aunt, or the young ladies. You'll just be giving us a chance to show off our diction and our voices." Grandmother Jia said with a smile, "Exactly so." Aunt Li and Lady Xue were delighted and both laughed, saying, "What a clever child! He's teasing us along with the old lady." Grandmother Jia said with a smile, "This is just our casual amusement, not a public performance, so naturally it's not quite up to the standard of the times." She added, "Have Kui Guan perform 'Hui Ming Delivers the Letter,' and don't bother with face paint either. Just these two pieces will give them something unusual. If you try to save any effort, I won't stand for it." Wen Guan and the others went out at once and made ready to take the stage. First came "Dream Search," then "Delivering the Letter." The entire audience listened in breathless silence. Lady Xue remarked with a smile, "Truly, we've never seen anything like it—we've watched hundreds of troupes and never seen one use only pipes and strings." Grandmother Jia said, "It has been done before. But in that 'West Tower—Clear River Sky' piece just now, a young scholar often joins in with the flute. A full-length performance like this is rare, and that depends on whether the host insists on it or not. What's so remarkable about that?" She pointed at Xiangyun and said, "When I was about her age, her grandfather had a troupe of little actors, and among them happened to be one who could play the *qin*. It was just like the 'Listening to the *Qin*' scene from *The Romance of the Western Chamber*, the 'Strumming the *Qin*' scene from *The Jade Hairpin*, and the 'Eighteen Songs of the Hu Reed Pipe' from the *Sequel to the Lute*—it became the real thing. How does that compare with this?" Everyone said, "That would be even harder to come by." Grandmother Jia then summoned a serving woman and instructed her to tell Wen Guan and the others to perform a suite called "Moonlight and Lanterns." The woman withdrew with her orders.

At that moment, Jia Rong and his wife made a round of the cups. Xifeng, seeing that the Dowager was in high spirits, said with a laugh, "Since the blind ballad-singers are here, why don't we have them beat a drum and pass a plum blossom? We could play the game 'Spring Joy Tips the Eyebrows'—what do you think?"

The Dowager laughed. "That's a splendid game, and most appropriate to the season." She at once ordered a black-lacquered, brass-studded patterned drum to be brought and had the blind ballad-singers beat it. Then someone plucked a sprig of red plum blossom from a vase on the table.

The Dowager said with a laugh, "Whoever is holding the blossom when the drum stops must drink a cup and say something clever."

Xifeng laughed, "In my opinion, only our Old Ancestress has everything she wants. For us who aren't clever, wouldn't it be rather dull? I suggest we cater to both the refined and the popular—let whoever loses tell a joke instead."

Everyone knew that she was an excellent raconteuse with an inexhaustible fund of novel and amusing stories. Her proposal delighted not only the guests but even the servants waiting on them. The young maids hurried out to tell the others, "Come quickly! Her Ladyship is going to tell another joke." Soon they crowded into the room.

The opera ended, the music stopped, and the Dowager ordered soup, pastry, and fruit to be given to the troupe of actresses, then told the drummers to begin. The blind singers were old hands. They beat the drum fast or slow—sometimes like the last drops of a water-clock, sometimes like beans bursting from a pod, sometimes like a galloping horse, sometimes like a flash of lightning that suddenly dies. When the drumbeat was slow, the plum blossom was passed slowly; when it was fast, it was passed fast. Just as it reached the Dowager's hands, the drum stopped short.

Everyone laughed aloud and Jia Rong stepped forward to pour a cup of wine for his grandmother.

"Naturally the Old Lady has the first share of good fortune," they said. "We all depend on her luck."

The Dowager laughed. "The wine is all right, but telling a joke is rather difficult."

"You have even better and more jokes than Xifeng. Please favor us with one, to make us laugh."

"There's nothing fresh or funny, I'm afraid. But I'll put on a bold face and tell one." She began:

"A family had ten sons and ten daughters-in-law. The tenth daughter-in-law was the cleverest, with a sweet tongue, and her parents-in-law doted on her. Every day she told them that the other nine were unfilial. The nine felt wronged and plotted together: 'We are all dutiful at heart, but unlike that little vixen we have no sweet words, so when our parents-in-law grow old they only praise her. To whom can we tell our grievance?' The eldest daughter-in-law had an idea. 'Let's go to the Temple of the King of Hell tomorrow and burn incense to him. We'll ask him why, when he reincarnated us as human beings, he gave only that little vixen a clever tongue while leaving us so stupid.' The others were pleased with this plan and agreed it was a good one. The next day they went to the Temple of the King of Hell to burn incense, and all nine fell asleep under the altar. Their nine souls waited for the King of Hell to arrive. They waited and waited, but he didn't come. Just as they were getting anxious, they saw the Monkey King swooping down on his cloud. When he saw the nine souls he raised his iron staff to strike them, and they fell to their knees in terror to beg for mercy. Sun Wukong asked what they wanted, and they told him the whole story. The Monkey King stamped his foot and sighed with pity. 'It's lucky for you that you met me. If you'd waited for the King of Hell, he wouldn't have known the answer.' The nine souls begged him, 'Great Sage, show us some mercy and we'll be all right.' Sun Wukong laughed, 'It's quite simple. When you ten sisters-in-law were being reincarnated, it so happened that I was at the King of Hell's palace and I happened to pass a puddle of urine on the ground—your youngest sister-in-law swallowed it. If you want to be clever and sweet-tongued now, there's plenty of urine. Just pass some more and drink it.'"

When she had finished, everyone laughed.

Xifeng said, "Goodness! It's lucky we're all slow of speech, or we'd have drunk monkey's urine too."

You-shi and Lou-shi turned to Li Wan with a grin. "Which one of us here has drunk monkey's urine? Don't pretend you don't know."

"A joke doesn't have to be good or bad," said Aunt Xue. "It just has to fit the occasion to make people laugh."

Then the drumming started again. The young maids, eager to hear Xifeng's joke, whispered to the blind singers beforehand to stop at a cough. After the plum blossom had been passed around twice, it reached Xifeng's hands. The young maids deliberately coughed and the singers stopped.

"This time we've caught her!" everyone cried. "Hurry up and drink your cup, and tell us a good one—but don't make us laugh so hard our sides split."

Xifeng thought for a moment, then laughed. "It was the fifteenth of the first month, and a whole family was enjoying lanterns and drinking wine together. It was really tremendously exciting. There was the great-grandmother, the grandmother, the mother, the daughter-in-law, the granddaughter-in-law, the great-granddaughter-in-law, the grandson, the nephew's grandson, the great-grandson, the great-great-grandson, the great-great-great-great-grandson, granddaughters, great-granddaughters, maternal granddaughters, paternal granddaughters... Oh my! What a lively scene!"

By the time she had reached this point the others were already laughing. "Listen to that glutton for words! I wonder who she's making fun of now," they said.

"You'll provoke me if you're not careful, and I'll tear your mouth," said You-shi.

Xifeng stood up and clapped her hands. "If you people keep interrupting when I'm trying to take the trouble to talk, I won't go on."

"Go on, go on," urged the Dowager. "What happened next?"

Xifeng thought for a moment, then said with a laugh, "They all sat in a big circle, and after drinking wine all night they went home."

She had spoken with such sober gravity, and there was nothing else to follow, that everyone stared blankly, waiting for more, but all they felt was—

—ice.

"Insipid!" Shi Xiangyun stared at her for a while.

Xifeng laughed: "Here's another one—about the Lantern Festival. Several men were carrying a firecracker as big as a house out of the city to set it off, and tens of thousands of people followed to watch. One impatient fellow couldn't wait, so he stole up and lit it with incense. There was just a 'pfft!' and everyone burst out laughing and dispersed. The men carrying the firecracker complained that the seller hadn't wrapped it tightly enough—it fell apart before they could even set it off."

Xiangyun asked, "Didn't the man himself hear it?"

Xifeng said, "He was deaf."

When everyone heard this, they thought it over and couldn't help bursting into laughter all at once. Then they remembered the previous joke she hadn't finished and asked, "What about the first one? You should finish it."

Xifeng slapped the table. "What a nag! By the second day it was the sixteenth—the New Year and the festival were both over. I saw people busy clearing up, still in chaos, and how would anyone know what happened after that?" When everyone heard this, they laughed again.

Xifeng said, "It's already the fourth watch outside. In my opinion, Old Ancestor is tired too. We should 'deaf man setting off firecrackers—scatter!'"

Madam You and the others covered their mouths with their handkerchiefs, laughing so hard they doubled over. Pointing at Xifeng, they said, "This creature really knows how to chatter."

Mother Jia laughed: "Truly this Feng girl has become more and more of a chatterbox." Even as she spoke, she ordered, "Since he brought firecrackers, let us set off some fireworks too, to help digest the wine."

Jurong heard this and hurried out to have the pages set up screens and hang the fireworks in the courtyard. These fireworks were tribute gifts from various places—though not very large, they were extremely ingenious, depicting all kinds of scenes, interspersed with various colored firecrackers. Lin Daiyu, with her delicate constitution, couldn't bear the loud banging sounds, so Mother Jia cradled her in her arms. Aunt Xue held Xiangyun. Xiangyun laughed: "I'm not afraid." Baochai and the others laughed: "He loves setting off big firecrackers himself—why would he be afraid of this?" Lady Wang pulled Baoyu into her arms. Xifeng said, "Nobody dotes on us." Madam You laughed: "I'm here—I'll hold you. Aren't you ashamed? This child is being coquettish again. Hearing the firecrackers, he must have eaten honeybee dung—he's being flighty again today." Xifeng laughed: "When we disperse, let's set some off in the garden. I shoot better than the pages." While they spoke, firecrackers were set off outside in every color, one after another, along with many "stars scattering across the sky," "nine dragons entering the clouds," "one thunderclap," "ten flying bangs," and other small firecrackers. After that, they ordered the young actors to perform a round of "Lianhua Luo," scattering coins all over the stage and telling the children to scramble for money for amusement. When the soup was served, Mother Jia said, "The night is long—I feel a bit hungry." Xifeng quickly replied, "We have prepared duck meat congee." Mother Jia said, "I'll have something light." Xifeng said quickly, "There's also jujube-simmered rice congee, prepared for the ladies observing vegetarian fasts." Mother Jia laughed: "It's either greasy or sweet." Xifeng said quickly again: "There's almond tea too, but that's probably sweet as well." Mother Jia said: "This will do, I suppose." She then ordered the remnants of the feast to be cleared away, and various delicate side dishes were set up outside. Everyone ate a bit as they pleased, rinsed their mouths with tea, and then dispersed.

Early on the seventeenth, they went again to the Ning mansion to perform the ceremonies, attended to the sealing of the ancestral hall and the putting away of the portraits, then returned. That day it was Aunt Xue's turn to host the New Year's feast. The eighteenth was the Lai family's turn, the nineteenth the Lai Sheng family of the Ning mansion, the twentieth the Lin Zhixia family, the twenty-first the Shan Daliang family, and the twenty-second the Wu Xindeng family. Of these families, Mother Jia went to some and not to others; at some she stayed happily until everyone else had dispersed, and at others she left after half a day when her interest was spent. Whenever relatives invited her or came to attend feasts, Mother Jia generally disliked being constrained, so Lady Xing, Lady Wang, and Xifeng took care of everything. Even Baoyu was only sent to Wang Ziteng's house; he did not attend the others, it being said that Mother Jia kept him to amuse her. So it was actually when the families in the household invited her that Mother Jia could go as she pleased, and she went happily. Enough of this digression—let us speak of the present, when the Lantern Festival had now passed. If you wish to know what happened, listen to the next chapter.